On Being Unreasonable by Kirsty Sedgman - Book Review

 

 

On Being Unreasonable by Kirsty Sedgman

 On Being Unreasonable starts by making the reader uncomfortable, setting the tone for the rest of the book. If you are someone who doesn't like their world view challenged, this book isn't for you. Sedgman does a deep dive into the history and meaning of the word reasonable, introducing biases that go back as far as the classical times of ancient Greece and China, and dissects how severely colonialism has imprinted our idea of the reasonable, every day man who is called upon to be the model of reasonable behaviour in court cases and similar situations. She investigates society right from the beginnings of humanity. How when we first settled down and started congregating in bigger groups that are not just extended family, we had to give our trust up to complete strangers and start developing rules for a peaceful coexistence. These rules may differ from region to region, and culture to culture, which is how in some parts of the world bartering for the price is best practice, while in other parts the vendor might get offended if you were to try and haggle for a better deal. But how over the last few decades, there is an ever growing divide between ‘them’ and ‘us’. Communities are falling apart, strangers are not seen as potentially friendly but distressing, and the mentality of ‘it takes a village to raise a child’ is all but gone from our modern society.

 Norms that are being investigated are the social contract that gives us the guidelines, rules and ways to act appropriately in the society we live in, such as how queueing hasn’t always been a British sport, but raises important questions to the anxious queuer: How close should I stand to the next person? When do I tell someone to back off when they get too close to me? How to deal with people that unapologetically cut into the line? How the previous questions are down to the individual and vary wildly from person to person, making it harder than it already is. Those unspoken societal rules that have been impressed into  us by our parents, guardians and surroundings when growing up and are very specific to the area and time we’re in.

 The book looks at societal expectations towards groups and individuals, on how ‘being reasonable’ has a wildly different definition depending on who you ask, especially across a class and cultural divide. It explores how minorities are being asked to ‘just make a request’ for life changing practices like disability access to public transport, for example. Only to then be denied time and time again, to be told that the funding is not there, to be told that the changes would be made ‘soon’ without any mention when, and are still not done years later. It unpacks the power imbalance between political parties, how the left is much more likely to strive for a compromise while the right is focussed on their own advantages and goals only, the rest of society ignored. Sedgman coins the term ‘bothsides-itis’ where audiences are encouraged to see both sides of the argument in an effort to be tolerant, which often results in giving opinions that should have been vetted first a platform, like alt-right rhetoric or ‘alternate facts’. It comes back to the saying ‘Tolerant people will tolerate intolerance, and the intolerant people will not tolerate the tolerant people’.

 Sedgman urges to first strive to settle arguments peacefully, by talking, whether they be of a political, societal or environmental nature; but ultimately, if talking fails, she calls to action. A discussion or debate can only be productive if both parties are sincere, and she calls out the conservatives to engage in dishonest practices to achieve their goals. So if we stop pretending that the levelling field is even, that we all have an equal chance at success in whatever we want to take a shot at, we can go and create the change needed from there. She calls on a diverse range of cultures to support her statements, from Native America to India and Japan.

 It’s a book written from a humorous, personal lens that strives to educate the reader with strong arguments and insights into the author’s life. It is Sedgman’s personal quest to answer her initial question ‘is it ever reasonable to be unreasonable?’ and her proposed solution is a healthy ‘yes!’ Within reason, of course.

 Sedgman is a cultural studies scholar who focusses on audiences. She lives in Bristol with her husband and two boys.

How did you enjoy the book? Let me know below!